I will be the first person to say that I struggle with Memorial Day. It’s not because of what the day is supposed to represent, but what it has become. This weekend people and families across the nation are gearing up for a long weekend of BBQing, gathering and merriment. Which is why I always find myself wistful on Memorial Day.
Almost every service member today can name at least one person they've lost to war. Often we forget that service members are still fighting long after they return home and often lose to the battles within, but no less a result of their time spent "in country". This is exactly why I don't like this holiday. While most of the people around me are celebrating and often wishing me a "Happy Memorial Day", I don't share in that revelry.
I know the excitement for a long weekend comes from a good place. I even understand that civilians wishing me a 'Happy Memorial Day' is meant as a sign of respect and an affirmation of my service. But, for myself and I'm sure many other veterans, there is nothing happy about Memorial Day.
I've had this discussion many times with my fellow service members over the years and have gathered a few different viewpoints on the subject. Some veterans welcome the holiday with excitement, often saying they don't begrudge people for enjoying themselves, or they look at it as a big, happy party for the fallen. Other veterans despise this holiday and look callously at everyone enjoying themselves on a day which they believe should be marked with somber appreciation. For me, I am a mix between the two.
As I stated previously, I don't fault people for wanting to enjoy themselves without fully appreciating the holiday that affords them that opportunity. I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that most people have not been directly impacted by the loss that war causes. Let me expand.
If you haven't served, or if your family hasn't been handed a folded flag, the concept of war is mostly theoretical. It’s movies and history books. You can't force someone to feel the weight of a loss they haven't personally experienced, and honestly, I wouldn't wish that weight on them anyway. So, for me, I have to acknowledge that most people haven't been touched by the impact of Memorial Day.
I am also guilty of having the cliched family BBQ and, God forbid, even smiling and having fun over the weekend. But, inevitably, I am always hit with the sad realization and remembrance of people whom I've known that are now gone.
This weekend I encourage everyone to enjoy themselves responsibly and maybe pour one out. I would also ask that you take just a moment, in quiet reflection, to remember those we've lost and fully comprehend what that means. So have fun and remember the cost we've collectively incurred so we can continue to live and hopefully thrive here. America is far from perfect, especially now, but I will always be appreciative of what we have and the people that defend it, even when it's broken. I'm going to go smoke some ribs. Dad out.