Have you ever looked at something as innocuous as a shopping cart and thought, "Wow, this is indicative of a community's cultural climate or, more broadly, the nation's?"
No? Just me. Okay, well, I suppose I should explain.
Being a stay-at-home parent, I obviously do all the grocery shopping in our house. Because I sometimes cook with obscure ingredients, my shopping can take me to several different locations throughout the city. What I've noticed over time is that the manner in which people return their carts, or failure to do so, is indicative of the disposition of the people in that community.
This led me to further explore this phenomenon, which ultimately brought me to The Shopping Cart Theory. Hopefully, understanding people further will alleviate much of the suppressed rage I have when I find errant carts in a parking lot or have to rearrange the entire cart corral because people are too lazy to properly push their carts in.
The Shopping Cart Theory
According to the extremely accurate knowledge of Wikipedia:
The shopping cart theory originated in a study published by Science in 2008 and has since become an Internet meme. The theory judges a person's ethics by whether they return a shopping cart to its designated cart corral or deposit area. The concept became viral online after a 2020 Internet meme which posits that shopping carts present a litmus test for a person's capability of self-control and governance, as well as a way to judge one's moral character. Detractors of the theory have sought various reasons for why returning a cart is unfavorable, such as leaving children unattended as one of the more commonly referenced.
Okay, so maybe I'm not completely insane in my observations. Can we actually judge a person's ethics by the manner in which they return a shopping cart? I would argue, yes. Please keep in mind that my experience is entirely anecdotal, but I still believe there is great merit in this theory.
Other publications like Scientific American went one step further by trying to explain the rationale of shopping cart offenders and their superior counterparts, "returners", in an article titled Why Don't People Return Their Shopping Carts?
I won't bore you with the boring specifics, but the largest conclusion drawn was that people follow social cues from their fellow man. One of the studies noted in the article was on graffiti and littering. As a test, "researchers" put out flyers in an area, and locations with graffiti were more likely than sanitized ones to have littering of the aforementioned flyers. The same goes for carts; if other people aren't returning their shit, neither will others because of the perception of standards in that area.
How rude!
So now that we have a baseline of what shopping cart theory is and a theory that tries to explain the why, we can begin to unpack it a little further. Scientific American makes some valid points as to why, but I think it's not as black and white as people being lemmings. I think one crucial piece of this infuriating puzzle is personal wealth.
Ha, Peasants!
I'm not going to mince words; we live in an affluent community. That doesn't mean that we are necessarily wealthy, but we're doing alright. Being in this community, we are also surrounded by other affluent communities, and I've noticed some differences between them based on self-perception.
Our little hamlet is located right next to one of the top 20 richest communities in Ohio. Just so I don't distinctly disparage an entire community, I'll just call this place Dabloon for the remainder of this article, and our little village, Worthingham.
- Worthingham: In Worthingham, we have a more diverse population and, with that, a wider range of incomes. Over time, what I've noticed is that people here tend to be kinder, but more importantly, they tend to return their ducking carts appropriately! Does this mean that we have a 100% success rate in appropriately returned carts? No, but it is eons beyond what I've observed in Dabloon.
- Groovinberg: Before moving to Worthingham, we lived in a community that doesn't even hit the top 100 in terms of wealth, and it showed, but not in a way that you would expect. For the sake of consistency, we'll call this place Groovinberg. In Groovinberg, our previous community, people were infinitely nicer, more polite, and more down-to-earth than even our beloved Worthingham. This niceness continued into cart returns. People down there would just return their carts, and I didn't notice it until I moved away. This habit held true even in the dingiest of neighborhoods. People simply just did what they were supposed to.
So what gives? My conclusion is that the wealthier you are, the bigger asshole you become. Now, I know that's a bold statement, as I have wealthy friends who are not assholes, but what I'm alluding to is the groupthink of a community based on PERCEIVED wealth and entitlement.
The Retail Microcosm
In full transparency, I worked at a retail office store in Dabloon during my college years. As stated earlier, Dabloon is pretty wealthy by Ohio standards. It wasn't my first foray into retail by a long shot, so you could say I've had some experience working with all kinds of people. What I quickly came to realize is that people in Dabloon were awful, but why...? Money, that's why.
Over time, I saw that people in Dabloon perceived themselves to be superior based on their wealth or the association of living in an affluent community. This was reflected in the way that they treated retail associates. I'm a smart guy, and I would argue that I'm more intelligent than the average Joe (so humble...). What I experienced, quite frequently, was patrons literally talking to me as if I were stupid and treating me with disdain because, well, I worked in retail, so I obviously wasn't worthy of value.
It wasn't only their treatment of people thought to be lesser, but also the privilege of these perpetrators. They often expected things for nothing and would get upset if they couldn't have things specifically their way, regardless if it was sensible, logical, or, in some cases, moral.
I would further say that people in this environment were incredibly rude. I would often have greetings ignored. If someone ran into you, no utterance of apology would ever be issued, and "please" and "thank you" were often left completely off the table.
I thought that maybe it was a retail microcosm, but I was woefully mistaken when we moved up to this area. Over time, I realized that this is just how the people there are. I've said it before, but I really hate Dabloon and try to avoid it as often as I can...which is nearly impossible these days.
What does any of this have to do with shopping carts?!
By this point, that would be an objectively fair question.
The answer is simple: if they treat the retail worker standing right in front of them with disdain, they definitely don't care about the teenager out in the parking lot who has to retrieve their abandoned cart. In my observations, the more affluent a community is, the shittier they become. Dabloon is a prime example of this phenomenon, and I could almost guarantee that it could be replicated in overly affluent communities across the nation. The richer you become, the more you perceive yourself as being superior to those who don't have the same wealth as you.
This is directly reflected in shopping carts. The care given to shopping carts shows exactly how much a community cares about its fellow man.
Why am I using Dabloon in this poor excuse for a case study? It's because they're the worst offenders. If I go to any business there, I would almost guarantee that if carts aren't strewn about the parking lot all willy-nilly, they are just pushed into the cart corral at random, creating a tangled web of laziness.
Do you know how hard it is to push a cart into a row of other carts? IT'S NOT!
Fancy Cars Don't Have Turn Signals
My theory continues to be proven by a strange phenomenon of expensive, luxury vehicles lacking turn signals. Huh?! Well, they actually do have them, but studies strongly suggest that the more expensive your car, the more entitled you feel not to follow basic traffic law.
Yes, a UNLV study found that the likelihood drivers would stop or slow down at crosswalks decreased by 3% for every $1,000 of vehicle cost. A DiscoverCars.com observational study found that drivers of premium, expensive European cars were up to 20% less likely to signal at intersections. Furthermore, a UC Berkeley study found that drivers of high-status luxury vehicles were more likely to cut other drivers off.
This complements the principles of the shopping cart theory in proving that rich people only care about themselves.
Conclusion
I conclude that Dablooners are assholes, and as an aside, shopping carts and turn signals display the basic nature of a community.
So, the next time you go to the store and you're just feeling a little tired and don't want to take the extra 30 seconds to walk your cart over and push it in, just stop, think, and go do it if you don't want to be a total piece of shit. If you don't? You're probably a Dablooner.
Dad out... to take my cart back, fulfilling my civic obligation as a decent human being.
Ahhh, this really grinds my gears!